Because we are nerds, we know that the clouds of little bugs emanating from our potted plants are not fruit flies, as people commonly refer to them, but rather, fungus gnats. We looked it up. (Nerds, remember.) To keep the little jerks under control, we allow our plants to dry out quite well between waterings, and as a back-up measure invested in some of those yellow sticky flag doodads. Works like a charm.
Now, a few things you may not know about parenting:
1. The height of infant safety gates is standardized across the industry to be precisely two inches taller than my crotch.
2. Nope, I've never fed my kids corn, either - I have no idea where it comes from.
3. Those little yellow flags stick to an infant's head worse than poo clumps on a domestic longhair's ass.
If you'll excuse me, I'm off to Home Depot to go pick up some Goo Gone.
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