Canuda Triangle

LAKEWOOD, NJ 08701

Room 210, Third Desk from the Right, Operator ID #4516

January 22, 2019, 1:42:13pm

Pre-Shipment Info Sent to Shipper

LAKEWOOD, NJ 08701

Room 210, The Desk in the Corner by the Window with All the Plants, Operator ID #3371

January 22, 2019, 1:45:02pm

Shipping Label Created, Shipper Awaiting Item

LAKEWOOD, NJ 08701

Warehouse B, Door 6B, Lovingly Handled by Operator #0144

January 22, 2019, 1:52:00pm

Shipment Received, Package Acceptance Pending

LAKEWOOD, NJ 08701

Warehouse B, Rack 075B, Shelf 452, Fifth Box from the Left, Operator ID #3610

January 22, 2019, 1:52:00pm

Shipment Accepted at Warehouse Facility

LAKEWOOD, NJ 08701

Warehouse B, Door 9B, Fork Loader 5, Bottom Pallet, Operator ID #3511

January 22, 2019, 2:13:12pm

Shipment Shipped to Shipping Origin Facility

Safe Travels, Little Friend

TRENTON, NJ DISTRIBUTION CENTER

Warehouse 3, Door A, Fork Loader 12, Sixth Pallet, Employee #40849

January 22, 2019, 3:46:45pm

Shipment Arrived at Shipping Origin Facility, Package Acceptance Pending

TRENTON, NJ DISTRIBUTION CENTER

Warehouse J, Rack 61, Shelf 23, Operator ID #00946

January 22, 2019, 3:51:33pm

Shipment Accepted at Shipping Origin Facility

TRENTON, NJ DISTRIBUTION CENTER

Warehouse J, Door D, Fork Loader 4a, Top Pallet, Operator ID #18645

January 22, 2019, 4:25:58pm

Shipment Shipped to Shipper Regional Facility

JAMAICA NY INTERNATIONAL DISTRIBUTION CENTER

Main Warehouse, Door 5B, Fork Loader 12, Sixth Pallet, Operator ID #0144

January 22, 2019, 6:01pm

Shipment Accepted at Shipper Regional Facility

JAMAICA NY INTERNATIONAL DISTRIBUTION CENTER

January 23, 2019, 9:36am

Shipment Processed Through Shipper Regional Facility

CANADA

January 25, 2019

Your item has arrived in CANADA.

CANADA

Your item is in transit in CANADA.

CANADA

Still in CANADA somewhere, don't know where exactly or how long it might be.

CANADA

How big even is CANADA? Shame it doesn't have any cities or landmarks or anything one could track by.

CANADA

February 27, 2019

Your item has been delivered in CANADA. 

Good luck on the return shipping if you don't like it.

Skip to My Loo

I found an AirBNB with a disco ball in the bathroom. It's in Amsterdam, which might have made you say, "Of course!" - that's what I said, anyway - but on further examination I don't know why that's an "of course" kind of thing. I really don't know much about Amsterdam, it just seemed somehow less weird than a disco ball bathroom in - well, basically anywhere else that I can think of. All I can think of right now is Regina, but still.

As fun as it seems to have a disco bathroom, I decided that someone with more, er, "festive" travel plans would surely make better use of it than our family would. It's also the only bathroom in the apartment and with my small bladder I really can't afford Small Fry enjoying his famously leisurely sit-ins even more than usual.

In imagining the kind of traveler who would feel the need to pay a premium for a vacation rental with a disco bathroom, I began to wonder what kind of traveler I am. Obviously I'm not too fussed about how well my bathroom raves are going to pan out, and I'm never worried about curating my Insta feed (where disco WC would surely be a slam dunk), but if not those admirable objectives, what do I stand for as a traveler? 

I reviewed our pending European itinerary to see if I could find any overarching themes. The research suggests our overarching themes are generally a bit sedate, at least compared to my imaginary bathroom-rave-Instagram-vacation competitors. I'm not sure how I've allowed these imaginary people to make me feel like my vacations are boring, but whatever - they'll find out what it's like when they grow up and have kids. And insomnia. And laundry. Yeah, screw those guys; I'm still cool even if I select AirBNBs based purely on practical considerations like 2+ bedrooms and a washing machine.

Something I don't think I fully realized before my itinerary review is just how keen I am on balconies and terraces. We are staying in a lot of places with balconies or terraces. And, full disclosure, bidets. What can I say? I've watched the interweb videos and I am looking forward to experiencing the same, apparently life-changing magic of bidets that those brave netizens have enjoyed. I once had to use a public toilet that was stuck in a permanent, vigorous flush mode and frankly I found the ensuing cool mist quite refreshing on the ol' undercarriage. It was a little tricky getting my tights back on afterward given the general wide-scale dampness, but I have high hopes for a system that delivers a more targeted rinse cycle.

We have some home renovation goals for after we return from vacation, that may well be informed by our experiences during the trip. If you notice we've installed a disco ball in the bathroom, you'll know the grand AirBNBidet experiment turned out to be a wash.