Skip to My Loo

I found an AirBNB with a disco ball in the bathroom. It's in Amsterdam, which might have made you say, "Of course!" - that's what I said, anyway - but on further examination I don't know why that's an "of course" kind of thing. I really don't know much about Amsterdam, it just seemed somehow less weird than a disco ball bathroom in - well, basically anywhere else that I can think of. All I can think of right now is Regina, but still.

As fun as it seems to have a disco bathroom, I decided that someone with more, er, "festive" travel plans would surely make better use of it than our family would. It's also the only bathroom in the apartment and with my small bladder I really can't afford Small Fry enjoying his famously leisurely sit-ins even more than usual.

In imagining the kind of traveler who would feel the need to pay a premium for a vacation rental with a disco bathroom, I began to wonder what kind of traveler I am. Obviously I'm not too fussed about how well my bathroom raves are going to pan out, and I'm never worried about curating my Insta feed (where disco WC would surely be a slam dunk), but if not those admirable objectives, what do I stand for as a traveler? 

I reviewed our pending European itinerary to see if I could find any overarching themes. The research suggests our overarching themes are generally a bit sedate, at least compared to my imaginary bathroom-rave-Instagram-vacation competitors. I'm not sure how I've allowed these imaginary people to make me feel like my vacations are boring, but whatever - they'll find out what it's like when they grow up and have kids. And insomnia. And laundry. Yeah, screw those guys; I'm still cool even if I select AirBNBs based purely on practical considerations like 2+ bedrooms and a washing machine.

Something I don't think I fully realized before my itinerary review is just how keen I am on balconies and terraces. We are staying in a lot of places with balconies or terraces. And, full disclosure, bidets. What can I say? I've watched the interweb videos and I am looking forward to experiencing the same, apparently life-changing magic of bidets that those brave netizens have enjoyed. I once had to use a public toilet that was stuck in a permanent, vigorous flush mode and frankly I found the ensuing cool mist quite refreshing on the ol' undercarriage. It was a little tricky getting my tights back on afterward given the general wide-scale dampness, but I have high hopes for a system that delivers a more targeted rinse cycle.

We have some home renovation goals for after we return from vacation, that may well be informed by our experiences during the trip. If you notice we've installed a disco ball in the bathroom, you'll know the grand AirBNBidet experiment turned out to be a wash.