Painfully Employed

Whoops, I meant 'gainfully'. Must be wearing my Freudian slippers today.

But seriously, folks, 'tis very near the end of my maternity leave. Like, 179 hours 'til the end. Not that I'm counting. (Ah, hell, let's show up late for our first day back and make it a nice, round 180 hours.)

Trepidation, thy name is DH!

Oh - you thought it was ME who'd be feeling anxious? Are you kidding? Top ten reasons I am excited to return to work:

10. Regular, spouse-sanctioned bathing. And grooming. Wait: regular bathing and grooming without simultaneous care of small children required! Ooooh, I feel faint!

9. Not to boast here, but I cut a pretty mean paycheque.

8. And I plan on spending a portion of those paycheques on what is possibly the world's best baklava, sold at a little cafe conveniently located less than one block from my office!

7. So-shul life? What is this so-shul life of which you speak?

6. Can't wait to fire up the ol' prefrontal cortex again, whoo I've missed you old pal!

5. Hallelujah! It's raining [educated-interesting-dynamic-grown-up] men [and women with whom I get to work, converse and otherwise interact]!

4. After an entire year without managing ten consecutive minutes of free time, an hour by myself on the train seems breathtakingly luxurious.

3. "Getcha little sumpin' that you can't get at home..." and I don't mean pasties or g-strings, Mr. Waits, I mean recognition for hard work. Certainly a little sumpin' that no stay-at-home mother ever receives. Unless granted posthumously.

2. Hot office gossip.

And the number one reason I can't wait to return to work:

1. "I have to work tomorrow, remember? You get up."