Monday, February 2, 2009

"Get to Know Your Friends"

It's that time of year again, my friends. No, I don't mean Groundhog's Day (though I did see my shadow this morning, and while when spring arrives is a total crapshoot, I can predict with some certainty that I have gained a few over the winter) - it's time again for those damned 'get to know your friends' emails. You know - somewhere between eight and seventy-two random and generally stupid factoids you didn't really care to know anyways and/or already knew from last year's edition.

38. What are you wearing right now? (The correct answer is, who cares?)

But I`ve recently seen on Facebook a revamped version of the old fave - it's a subtle difference, but an important one: in this version of the Get to Know You, the writer chooses twenty-five things about themselves they feel are worthy of being shared. Several of my friends have posted beautiful lists that truly speak to the heart of their beings, regardless of what they happened to be wearing at the time. Brilliant! So, despite the fact that, 1. I am an incurable (some may argue insufferable) smart ass, and cannot actually share anything personal without joking about it, here is my list:

2. I really like wearing aprons. Really. If not for the threat of grease spatters in untoward places, I might consider wearing only an apron.

3. DH calls me frecklepelt after a type of lichen with the same common name...

4. ... because I am very freckly, and...

5. ... because I am a biologist whose specialty happens to be plants (i.e., a botanist).

6. Being a botanist does not mean I grow marijuana, am a vegetarian, or know why your lawn won't grow in that one place by your deck. (Though it doesn't necessarily preclude me or other botanists from doing any of these things, either. Dude, pass the Twinkies.)

7. Celebrity crush: Rick Mercer.

8. But it would never work out between us. I need to be The Funny One in a relationship. Sorry, Rick.

9. Biggest mistake ever, and my sole regret in life: starts with a C and rhymes with, WTF was I thinking when I married my first husband?

10. I drop the F-bomb a LOT.

11. I firmly believe that the flavour of nearly all foods may be improved by either putting them in a pastry shell or adding whipped cream.

12. Or cheese, I forgot cheese.

13. If you can't stuff it in a pie shell or add high-fat dairy products to it, it's probably not something I want to eat anyways, so don't waste your time thinking up foods that can't be improved upon by those means.

14. Have I mentioned I am not a thin woman?

15. I often have trouble thinking of the correct word for things. (I once used the term "small mouth shovel" to indicate that I required a spoon.) There is a word for the condition, but naturally I can't remember what it is.

16. I like to bake - I find it therapeutic. And then I get to consume the results. Also therapeutic.

17. When I was a kid, I thought the lyric was "silence like a casserole", and I pictured a bubbly, cheese-topped casserole in a Corningware dish, just sitting on the kitchen counter. Silently.

18. My favourite season is fall. I like the decomposing leaf smell, grey skies and wearing layers.

19. I have extraordinarily bad morning hair.

20. My feet are so cute that I can't help but admire them whenever I'm not wearing socks. Sometimes I even remove my socks just to look at my feet. They are such hard-working, cute little feet. They never let me down. I really love my feet. I am going to give them each a little hug right now.

21. Oh gawd, I am not very flexible. They each got a bit of a reaffirming pat.

22. I got really stoned once while camping... okay, rephrase. This one time when I was really stoned while camping, I truly believed that the dead mosquitoes on the tent's mesh ventilation panels were also stoned and had just taken a bit of a lie down. To this day I have trouble believing they didn't get hot-boxed up there. *sigh* What a pleasant way to go.

23. And this other time... well, just don't ever throw your hiking boots into a tree, because how in hell do you think you're going to hike back out with no shoes?

24. I really try to think thoughts about physics, but my mind just can't .. quite ... wrap around it.

38. Green sweater, woolly socks, jeans, lime green cat-print apron.

1 comment:

  1. LOL I truly learned something about you!!! LOL Thanks for sharing and thanks as always for the giggles!