Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Coppertone Up Seventy Points

Hey, have I mentioned lately that I am really, really white? Like, blue-white - fishbelly white. The woman who did my last pedicure said, in her charming little no-speaka accent, "Oooh, you need little bit more brown!" (Great - now not only can I not show my blindingly white legs in public, people are even criticizing my blindingly white feet?)

While DH has two seasons - Cold and Not Cold, you'll recall - I was recently reminded that I also exhibit some seasonality: White and Pink. That's right, after over thirty years of vicious sunburns, I yet again neglected to apply sunscreen (it's only April, right?) and have a terrible sunburn. And if you are also fair of skin, you will know what I mean when I say, Of course I was wearing something with a decorative neckline! *sigh*

Now what the hell am I going to wear to work all week? I'm going to have to go out again on the next pleasant day and try to get a more practical sunburn so I can wear my office clothes. To think I used to fret about obscuring mere hickeys - just try to camouflage a scalloped sunburn with a lacy openwork design! No artful scarf placement is going to hide that. (Ah, ah, don't give me that turtleneck crap, we've already discussed why we break up the canvas around here, remember?)

Not to mention the fact that the back of my neck is going to hit seventy about thirty years before the rest of me.

And thus begins the cyclic nature of the season Pink: sunscreen, aloe, sunscreen, aloe. Repeat.

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