Blueberries Meet Untimely Demise

Suspect Nabbed Blue-Handed

Neighbours expressed shock at the violent end reached by a pint of blueberries at the hands of a local toddler.

"He was a quiet, polite fellow. Kept to himself, mostly. I never would have imagined this sort of destruction, never," said a female neighbour, who wishes to remain anonymous.

"Yap! Yapyapyapyapyapyapyap yap yap!" added the woman's dog.

Cleanup crews say they haven't seen such a mess since the Ketchup and Fries Incident of last week.

The suspect is being held behind bars until his nap is up.