Sunday, January 23, 2011

Brains, Delicious Brains

Wow, I haven't written in weeks. This is in direct conflict with at least one ("post to blog weekly"), and possibly three-and-a-half ("reinstate hobbies into life" and "maintain contact with outside world - not just at work!"), of my New Year's Resolutions. But as they say, you gotta break some eggs if you wanna make an omelet.

Which reminds me, I also Resolved to try eating vegan this year, but discovered that I'm severely allergic to soy products. Otherwise I'd be "breaking" tofu to be making an "omelet", which admittedly doesn't flow (not to mention taste) quite as well. Which also reminds me, if you've never had hives over 99% of your body (my eyelids and toenails were spared), you just haven't lived. I had to use Lamaze breathing to make it through a project meeting without itching my ass.

But back to that omelet: what kind of omelet could possibly be as important to me as your mental health breaks and/or late-night breastfeeding reading, dear Minions? Not much of an omelet at all, it turns out. In truth, I've been playing Plants vs. Zombies. Obsessively. Maybe even compulsively. (And, by DHs account at least, disorder-edly.) I was forced to pitch all my regularly-scheduled Resolutions out the window in order to implement an Emergency Resolution to stop playing Plants vs. Zombies, cold-turkey. Just when I was totally on track to "lose fifty pounds" and "win the lotto" this year! Dang.

However, thanks to the fact that humans have invented numerous calendar systems throughout history - and assuming my Emergency Resolution has been successful by that time - I can still make a fresh start in the lunar new year. According to my calculations, if I really work at it I should be thin and rich... just in time for the end of the world in 2012.

Also dang. I think I'll go water my Zen Garden awhile and ponder my next move.

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