"Computer, activate outsourcing of child care."
Babysitter activated, Captain.
"Computer, activate presentable appearance."
Mascara deployed, Captain.
"Computer, do we have any dinner and candlelight around here?"
"Make it so."
To explore a quiet, civilized meal! To seek out new life in our overburdened relationship! To boldly go where no parents have gone before!
"Computer, activate sparkling conversation."
Computer does not recognize command, Captain.
Hm, that's a little scary.
"Computer, umm... engage intelligent banter."
Program no longer exists, Captain.
"Uhh, computer, a joke? Witty remark? Anything?"
Number One: Honey, you look worried - what's up?
Shields down, Captain. All systems failing.
Thus go our voyages and our adventures. *sigh*