I've never been really big on conspiracy theories. Seems to me that there exist certain factions of the population who enjoy conspiracy theories just for the sake of feeling pissed off about something - damn hippies - but really, some of the theories are quite convincing, especially those where you can infer an obvious motive for conspiring. I'm most likely to feel there's some truth behind conspiracy theories where money is a motivator. Case in point: cigarettes are toxic after all, imagine that! Who'd'a thunk tobacco companies would have been lying all that time?
**insert cash register sound here**
Though I'm not totally certain that qualifies as a "conspiracy theory". Maybe it is better defined as, say, a "successful business model". Hey, corporations are people too, you know - think of it from their point of view: what good can come of a product that doesn't create a self-perpetuating market? Hence, disposable goods. Addictive substances. Toilet bowl cleaners.
Oh, yes, toilet bowl cleaners.
It's a well-known fact among the wifely set that the scent of Toilet Duck exerts a powerful laxative effect on those Y-chromosome types. Try it, you'll see - the damn instant you finish scrubbing the john someone will invariably be in there stinking the place up again. In fact, and this is where the conspiracy theory gets really dark and treacherous, I even suspect toilet bowl cleaners are somehow formulated to enhance creativity.
Because it's always a Picasso Dump.
Truthfully, I think old Pablo got the raw end of that particular bit of nomenclature, because "Pollock Plop" really is far more apt, not to mention catchier. But maybe that's a theory for another day.
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