Hi there! I can't believe I'm actually trying this, but after so many failed attempts at doing this the old-fashioned way I'm still lacking that special someone in my life, so here goes nothing.
I'll start by saying that I have a very clear idea of what I'm looking for in this relationship. I'm certainly not inflexible and I don't want to frighten you off by being blunt, but I am particular about certain things. Because I'm on the rebound from a string of unsuccessful previous relationships of this nature and I don't want to have to deal with
that sort of thing again, I think it's only fair to be completely up front about my needs to ensure we're both on the same page:
Kitchen - Wash pretty much everything that faces out as well as a few things that face in (microwave interior; the gross cupboard
under the sink where the trash and compost live). Empty trash, wash
floor, dust ceiling fan. The windows, blinds, fridge and
oven are their own jobs
that should be discussed separately, and if you don't look at the tops
of the cupboards then I won't either. (See? Totally flexible.)
- Dust everything that holds still long enough to acquire a layer;
vacuum upholstery - yes, underneath the cushions too; sweep/vacuum floor, including sliding
furnishings out of the way to get behind the items. The living room floor gets dusty but not
dirty like the kitchen floor does so I don't think it needs to be
washed every week (flexibler and flexibler) but I'd appreciate if you kept an eye out for
occasions where a spot clean or damp mop would be in order.
- Full clean and sanitize; empty trash. The bathrooms were really my
breaking point with my previous cleaner: hairballs in the corners,
scummy soap dishes, streaky toilet bowls, etc. To
be totally blunt, if I wanted someone to do a half-assed job I'd just nag the husband and kids to "help", for free. As it is I work a lot, I'm tired,
and I want my weekends to involve more than just scrubbing toilets and nagging. Here's my gold standard for bathrooms: Someone could fall seriously
ill at any moment. The bathroom should be a sanitary and welcoming
place to spend the day writhing in agony.
- Dust; vacuum. Take these directions with a grain of salt, as one child is a
Lego fiend and the other a slobby pre-teen; I fully realize that all
surfaces may not be reasonably available for cleaning at all times.
Basement/Laundry Area - Lost cause. Don't bother.
Stairwell, Halls, Entryway, etc. - Vacuum, dust, etc. as necessary. Sanitize all light switches and spot clean hand prints and booger stashes wherever you may find them, but be very careful with my baseboards: if you disturb even the smallest area the chic grey tones I've decorated in will be revealed for the uniform patina of accumulated dust that they truly are. My house has about seventeen kilometres of baseboards; you will be expected to wash all them. Consider yourself warned.
I'm interested in a weekly arrangement. If you can fulfill my needs as described above, you can name your price. Age, sex and appearance couldn't matter less to me so don't worry about sending a photo.