Thursday, July 21, 2011

Workplace Hazardous Persons Information System

I believe in rights. In fact, I am all about rights. The Right to Form an Uneducated and Baseless Opinion and the Right to Be an Idiot are no exception to my unwavering support of one's rights.  

But if someone chooses to take those two god-given and incontrovertible rights, and ignore the distinctive chartreuse skull-and-crossbones-slathered-with-radioactive-waste-then-stuffed-with-poison-dart-frogs-and-guarded-by-rabid-pikas-and-also-chock-full-of-trans-fats MSDS warning label that is clearly and prominently displayed on the rights, stating that those two rights should NEVER be deployed in spatial or temporal proximity to each other, and goes ahead and uses them at the same time anyways...

Well, then.

As a Class V Temper regulated under the Hazardous Products Act, I'm obligated to warn the public that I react strongly with the byproducts of Opinionated x Idiocy. However, having provided fair and reasonable notice of potential contraindication by way of my red hair (i.e., the universal symbol for Concentrated Source of Rage), I can no longer be held responsible for any consequences that may be incurred as a result of one's own stupidity.

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