Thursday, May 26, 2016

Golden Age

I just learned that those really nice, warm, slanty-light sorts of times right when the sun is coming up or going down are called 'the golden hour'. Never mind the actual duration of those times or that there are more than one of them per day, it's just hour, singular, and we're all meant to understand this.

Also never mind that people seem to see this kind of light and think of photography of all silly things. Photography! What the heck? I'll give photographers the benefit of the doubt and assume they just don't have a lot of chin hairs, but I will have it known that when see that kind of light my thoughts immediately turn to tweezing. I think, That thar is some hella good tweezing light. I think I'll go sit by a window and spend some qualidee time with the zoom side of my hand mirror. A golden hour indeed.

Shortly after learning this bit of trivia, I saw a pair of lighted tweezers for sale in a drugstore. If you're wondering, But what kind of light? then we are on the same page, friend.

It seems to me that the ideal lighted tweezer would be capable of providing all the different sorts of light that are required to flush out all the different sorts of stray hairs, because logic. There would of course be a 'warm slanty-light' setting - it's really a good illuminator of otherwise tough to find strays. A 'romantic table for two overhead light' would help all your unwanted moustache hairs glow especially brightly, although 'elevator light' would be an acceptable substitute if the ambience of the former is too difficult to capture in a handheld device. A 'through the car window while driving light' is excellent for discerning overlong hairs of the jaw and neck, while a plain 'office fluorescent' setting could help tease out the occasional frisky Scottish brow. Finally, 'overcast day' would be a wonderful all-purpose setting for one's general tweezing needs. I suppose they could add in a 'home bathroom' setting if they wanted to, but if that worked then we wouldn't need all those other ones now would we?  

The rubbish drugstore tweezers I saw, however, were apparently made by photographers because they came equipped with only a single, sortof bluish LED light.

Until the technology is there, it seems we're stuck with eliminating our stray hairs the old fashioned way: with the turning of the earth, the changing of the weather, and the driving of the car down the highway and OH MY GAWD WHAT IS THAT SPROUTING OUT OF MY NECK?!

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