Sunday, February 13, 2011

Tall Drink of Water

DH and I got some new life insurance this week. (Sorry if this puts a damper on your plans to knock us off, but none of you are the beneficiaries.) A nurse actually came to our house to take our "samples" & vitals - so easy! I had no idea it would be that easy. Why aren't more businesses so customer-laziness oriented? I'd probably buy way more stuff if I could do it without getting out of my pyjamas.

Oh, wait - I do. It's called "online shopping", and actually I should probably cut back on that. Lunar New Year's Resolution #146: less shopping in my pyjamas.

As an added bonus to the nurse's visit, I found out I'm actually taller that I thought I was. I'm not five-foot-five at all; I'm five-foot-five and a half!

Sadly, and contrary to popular belief, growing taller didn't make me any thinner, but I have noticed several improvements in my quality of life over the past few days. My salary hasn't increased as much as I had hoped (or as much as if I had, say, discovered I was actually a man all this time instead of just a vertically-gifted woman), but I imagine that's primarily a function of my not hovering around my boss's office frequently enough this week for him to notice my dramatic growth spurt. I'll figure out a way to work the good news into a meeting next week and then just sit back and watch the dollas start rolling in. But I'm, like, statistically way more attractive and successful now, and pantyhose hardly come up to my armpits at all anymore. Plus I can definitely tell that I'm living longer.

Yup, being tall sure has its advantages.

I wonder if it's too late for me to pass on this fortunate bit of genetics to my children, since I only discovered my tallness after I had them? Drat. Well, I'm not giving it up now - maybe I'll leave it to them in my will. They can have a quarter of an inch each, and if they need any more than that, they'll just have to learn to backcomb their hair.

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