Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Rough Influence Sausage

It seems like we recently got a new mailman.

On second thought, is it PC to say mailman? Uhh... letter delivering individual. We got a new Letter Delivering Individual.

I wonder how they work these things down at Canada Post. I like to think there's a cool competition every so often - envelope-licking or midget-tossing or something - with the winners awarded delivery territories. Keep the fleet strong and all. They could pee on their boundaries to warn lesser LDIs off their turf. Admittedly, I've never seen this happen, but the point is it could.

Anyways, so the new LDI is this sortof androgynous, chubby little fellow who looks like he's never seen a piece of lettermail in his life. Completely stunned. I have received more mis-delivered mail in the past month than I have in my entire life. This is where my survival of the fittest theory of Canada Post falls apart, because the last LDI was really butch - I had to develop an entirely new theory of Canada Post just to accommodate the new guy. I call it: Outsourcing.

Specifically, the work of sorting and delivering mail on my block has fallen to Medium Fry. She's had nothing less than her own rural route for the past few weeks. It's one way to get your fifty-four cents' worth, I guess - especially now that we've asked them to stop wearing a cow trail across the front lawn and use the driveway instead.

And in unrelated news, I'm sick. I'm sick and grouchy and there's nothing I can do about it but drink a crappy Neo Citran. Because DH was concerned about my "recreational" NyQuil use, so I'm not allowed to have any good stuff anymore.


So I'm making like Canada Post this week and Outsourcing. Here are the sites I can always count on for a good chuckle, for instance when my favourite blogger is sick and can't rely on over-the-counter narcotics for a creative boost:

1. Sleep Talkin' Man
2. Hyperbole and a Half
3. Toothpaste for Dinner
(& 4-6 related sites Natalie Dee, Married to the Sea and Superpoop)
7. Engrish
8. FAIL Blog
9. Cake Wrecks
10. The Onion

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